Why “Your Network ISN’T Your Net Worth”
What I wish I’d realised before trying to network my way into momentum.
You’ve probably heard this advice more times than you can count…
“Your network is your net worth.”
It sounds smart.
Feels strategic. Easy to repeat at events, on podcasts, or in LinkedIn posts.
But here’s the problem.
When you focus on networking before building anything worth connecting over, you waste your time - and everyone else’s.
I used to believe this advice too. I chased the coffees. Sent the cold DMs. Showed up everywhere, thinking I just needed to meet the “right” person. Ironically, the more I networked, the more disconnected I felt - from my own direction, from real momentum, from the kind of trust that actually moves a business forward.
This article isn’t anti-relationship.
But it is a warning.
Because if you treat networking like a growth strategy instead of a byproduct of growth, you’ll stay stuck - feeling busy, but going nowhere.
Feeling surrounded by people, but still somehow invisible.
Let’s break it down.
Myth #1: Being in the room is enough
There’s this quiet belief that success is about proximity. That if you just get near the right people, something will rub off - insight, opportunity, credibility.
But proximity doesn’t equal power.
If you’re not bringing something to the table, your seat doesn’t matter.
Access doesn’t create value. Value creates access.
Being in the room without value is like being invited to a dinner party and showing up with empty hands - you’re welcome, but people remember who brought the wine.
Or like showing up to a group project at school and expecting top marks without doing any of the work - you’re there, but you haven’t contributed.
Here’s the truth. Being around smart or successful people doesn’t automatically make you either. You still have to bring something that makes them stop and say, “We need you in this.”
Not having that thing isn’t a reason to network harder. That’s a reason to double down on your craft, sharpen your offer, and develop the kind of value that earns attention - instead of asking for it.
It’s not about being seen. It’s about being known for something real.
Myth #2: More connections = more opportunities
This one is seductive because it feels measurable. Numbers go up, and you think your business will follow. But it’s a false sense of progress.
You can have thousands of contacts and still feel completely alone in your business. Why? Because relationships aren’t built on contact - they’re built on clarity.
You can’t leverage what no one understands.
Relevance beats reach. Every time.
Forget 10,000 LinkedIn contacts. You need 5 people who truly get what you do - and why it matters. What’s the point if you connect but don’t connect?
Just because you have 10,000 connections doesn’t mean they need you, trust you, or will reply to you.
Most people aren’t ignoring you because they don’t want to help - they’re ignoring you because they don’t understand where you fit. Connection only becomes opportunity when people know how to place you in their mental “who can help with X” folder.
And you don’t get there by being broad and everywhere. You get there by being clear and consistent.
Myth #3: Visibility equals trust
This one hurts, because it feels like you’re doing everything right. You’re posting. Showing up. Staying active.
Still, there’s often a quiet frustration underneath - a sense that nothing is quite landing.
Because people don’t trust what they can’t feel.
You’re showing up. You’re sharing. But if you’re not delivering, you’re just exposed.
Trust doesn’t come from content. It comes from consistency.
It’s like seeing someone jogging past your house every morning - you recognise them, but you have no idea who they are or what they stand for.
And here’s the bigger issue: high visibility without trust can actually work against you. People form impressions quickly. If all they’ve seen is surface-level content, that’s all they associate you with. They tune you out before they ever tune in.
You don’t need more posts. You need more proof - the kind that shows you’ve done the work, not just talked about it.
Myth #4: Trust is built through attention
The “just get noticed” advice backfires more than people realise. Because once you have attention, people start looking more closely. And if what they find is vague, performative, or inconsistent - trust drops to zero.
Being noticed isn’t the same as being believed.
People feel agendas. They sense self-interest.
Real trust is built when no one’s watching - and you still show up.
It’s like posting about toxic workplaces, going viral, getting loads of engagement from disgruntled employees - then hoping they'll buy your coaching. Just because you're pandering to a crowd doesn't mean they'll want to work with you.
Attention without alignment wastes energy. You might win applause, but you won’t win clients. The work is to speak directly to the kind of person you’re actually here to help - and to do that in a way that makes them trust you’ve walked the road before them.
Myth #5: The right person will unlock everything
This one keeps people waiting. Waiting for the introduction, the shoutout, the golden handoff that will finally make everything click.
But when you rely on someone else to validate you, your business is built on hope, not strength.
Even when someone powerful does notice you - if your foundations aren’t strong, it crumbles.
It’s like asking your friend to recommend you for a job, and then turning up unprepared. You don’t just miss the opportunity - you make them look bad.
This is what happens when you bank everything on a single moment - the 'right person', the 'viral post', the 'big break'.
But that moment rarely comes the way you expect it. And even when it does, it only works if you've been doing the right things consistently.
Justin Bieber put out over 100 videos on YouTube before he got discovered. It wasn’t luck. It was proof, compounding in public.
Success isn’t a doorway someone opens for you. It’s a hallway you build by showing up again and again.
Your “big break” isn’t a person. It’s a body of work that speaks for itself.
Myth #6: You can build deep relationships at scale
This myth sounds noble - build your network, nurture your community, keep everyone engaged. But it falls apart when you try to live it.
Most people don’t realise how limited our capacity for meaningful connection really is. Anthropologist Robin Dunbar found that humans can only maintain around 150 stable relationships. That includes friends, family, colleagues - everyone. Not 150 clients. Not 150 business besties. Total.
And even that number includes a sliding scale of closeness. You might only be able to truly stay connected to a dozen people at any given time.
Trying to build deep relationships with hundreds of people at once is like trying to have meaningful conversation with every guest at a wedding. You might say hello to everyone - but no one leaves feeling like they spoke to you.
And that’s the trap. You get stretched too thin to show up with the depth or consistency that trust requires. You’re not remembered because you weren’t present long enough to be known.
Relationship-driven businesses only work if you narrow the focus. Less follow-up, more follow-through.
The goal isn’t to keep up with everyone. It’s to go deep with the few who matter most - the ones you’re actually here to help.
The Real Problem
“Your network is your net worth” sounds empowering - but it’s quietly disempowering.
It pulls your attention outward. It tells you the next step is in someone else’s hands. That your future hinges on access, not ability.
And the danger is that you start building for attention, instead of building for truth.
You lose the thread. You compromise your voice. You chase tactics that make you visible, but not memorable.
The truth is:
You’re not being rejected because people are gatekeeping.
You’re not invisible because your ideas aren’t good enough.
You’re being overlooked because your value hasn’t become clear enough, consistent enough, or felt deeply enough yet.
And that’s not a flaw.
It’s a signal - to come home to your work.
What to Do Instead
Here’s what actually works:
Build something that solves a real problem - Something that makes someone’s life better. Not just prettier. Not just busier. Better.
Share your proof - Talk about the change, not just the concept. Let people see the stakes. Let them feel what it’s like to win because of you.
Stay where trust can build - Familiarity breeds trust. Depth breeds confidence. You don’t need to be seen everywhere. You need to be felt somewhere.
Let the right people find you - You’re not just looking for attention. You’re building resonance. Say the thing only your people will hear - and trust that they will.
Earn reputation in the quiet moments - The trust isn’t built in the wins. It’s built in the weeks where you keep showing up anyway.
Prioritise service over status - It’s not about proving your worth. It’s about practicing it - where you are, with who’s in front of you.
Narrow your focus to deepen your impact - You don’t need to keep up with hundreds of people. You need to matter deeply to a few. Go deeper with fewer relationships. Invest where it
Someone once told me…
“You don’t need to know powerful people. You need to become someone powerful people want to know.”
And that doesn’t happen by chasing rooms.
It happens by making something real. By earning your voice. By choosing to matter, long before you’re seen.
So build the thing. Share the proof. Stay consistent.
And let the right people feel it - before they even meet you.